The Dreaded Carseat

Luke hates his carseat. I could just end this post right now, because that is the bottom line. There is no question in my mind how he feels about it, and he will share his feelings with anyone who wants to know whether he likes it or not.  I'm not even sure that hate is the right word for it...what is a word stronger than hate? Despise? Abhor? Well all of those words apply to Luke's feelings towards the carseat.

When he was a newborn, I could put him in the infant carrier and he would fall asleep while driving. I was able to go to the grocery store, the mall, the park...you name it, we went there. After he was about two months old and no longer falling asleep every time we got in the car, I noticed that he was becoming a little fussy when I strapped him into his seat. Over the past 4 months, his fussiness has turned into an all out screaming, crying, hyperventilating hatred of his seat. It has become so bad that I refuse to travel alone with him. (Which presents an interesting dilemma since Mike is at school four nights a week for a minimum of 4 hours at a time).

I am stressed out about this. I love my child and I love spending every minute with him that I can. But it gets damn boring to sit at home night after night by ourselves! I am at a loss for what to do to get Luke into his seat and travel with him from point A to point B safely. Do you know what happened last week when I tried to take him to my parents' house ten minutes away? I ended up driving with him on my lap. Yep, that's right. On. My. Fucking. Lap. I am not proud of it and I don't ever want it to happen again. But after two minutes of him screaming and with tears running down my cheeks, I didn't know what else to do. It was a disaster.

I'm not totally sure why he dislikes the carseat so much, but I believe it's because it requires him to sit still. My child doesn't sit still. Ever. Not on my lap, not on the floor, not on the couch. So why would he do it in the car? That's right. He won't. I have run out of options for trying to trick him into sitting there, even for 2 minutes. We have given him every toy he owns. We have played music. We have sang to him. We have put all the windows down. We have given him a mirror. We have tried having one of us sitting in the back next to him. We have tried talking to him about it and being matter-of-fact about what needed to happen (which is almost asinine to try to reason with a six month old, but I'm desperate here, remember?) We have tried putting the carseat facing forwards, and we have tried putting it in the front seat. I have even resorted to bringing the damn thing inside and "practicing" with him in the comfort of the family room. Nothing fucking works! As soon as we set him down in the seat he starts crying. Which quickly escalates to screaming, howling and then choking/gasping for air/vomiting. That's all in a matter of about one minute. And I refuse to let it go on any longer than that.

Now I know what you are thinking....just put him in the seat, buckle it up, and go. Right? Well that is not an option. I refuse to force my child into a situation that requires him to scream, cry, and vomit on himself. I don't believe in letting him cry it out and to deal with his big overwhelming feelings on his own. So that option isn't even an option. (Not to mention that listening to my child scream and cry is physically painful for me and then I end up in tears too). Not happening. So here we are, hanging out together every night at home. And as much as it sucks to not be able to go anywhere, I know that in time, he will be able to sit in the carseat while I drive. I know that as he gets older, I will be able to reason with him to let him know that it is only temporary, and that he won't be stuck in that black fuzzy seat forever. But until that time comes, I am forced to wait patiently at home. I don't want to rush Luke into growing up too quickly, and I am enjoying him every day for who he is on that day and in each moment. But selfishly, this is one stage that I could do without.